In the past few weeks I have learned what's easy isn't always right. What's right is seldom easy. Emotions in particular are easy to act on without thought. Such actions always have consequences. It's easy to act without thinking. Much, much too easy. 'act' can mean a number of things; words are probably the easiest actions to do without thinking. It's hard to sit and be, to let your (my) anger or sadness or jealousy or whatever it is just run around inside you as you realize how foolish it was in the first place.
Even as I type this blog I am filled with emotion that wants to come out and be hurtful to others becuase of things that have happened to me beyond anyone's control. I know it would be wrong, therefore I cannot. And this frustrates me further.
Why can I not get it into my heart that the people around me mean me no harm? I don't surround myself with people who have the goal to hurt others. But I assume the worst. Even if it's true, I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. Acting on my emotions and hurting with those emotions would be JUDGEMENT. I seek to cause equal pain that has been brought upon me to others. Becuase of Christ's sacrifice on the cross I know so much better. So it is He, not I, that resists these temptations.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
130 random questions
130 Random Questions
When was the last time you cried?: Last night
Have you ever faked sick?: YES! Haha...
What was the last lie you said?: Oh jeez... I'm not sure.
Have you ever cried during a movie?: ... No... Maybe... IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE! Ok fine... THEY were good movies.
Have you ever danced in the rain?: I've played basketball in the rain. But no, not danced. Not yet.
Have you ever been drunk?: Nope.
Do you smoke?: No.
What is your full name?: Grant Richard Gustafson. Hi to all you internet predators.
What is your blood-type?: I have no clue.
Have you ever been in a car accident?: Nope.
How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?: Flippin 15 man.
Who was your first kiss?: I don't like to talk about that.
Have you ever had an online relationship?: Not a real one. Haha...
Have you ever been rejected by a crush?: Probably. I've rejected too so, I got even!
What is your favourite sport to play?: I don't like sports.
Have you ever made a prank phone call?: Yeah. A few here and there.
Have you ever said "I Love you" and not meant it?: Well yeah, but I *thought* I meant it.
Is there anything that you have done that you regret?: The longest relationship I've ever been in was also the worst.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: A God-fearing husband and father.
What is your political persuassion?: No comment.
Do you believe in g-d?: It's God* and yes, I do.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I believe in 'like' at first site. Turns into love if everything works out.
Do you believe in karma?: Lol. Something like that. I don't think it is a seperate, independent power, though.
Who was your first crush?: I really can't remember.
Who do yo uhave a crush on?: Right now? No one.
How would you describe yourself?: The fact that I laughed at this question might give you a hint...
What are you afraid of?: 131 Random questions in a row *whew*
Are you religious?: I seek God's heart and obey (I try anyway) him. Is that religion?
What does your screen name mean?: Which one? Im.tryin means I'm trying... At alot of things.
What person do you trust the most?: Well, I'm learning to trust the Lord. For now I think I trust my parents. And some great guys named Michael and Erin.
Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?: Her name was Khristamy. Pretty lame first relationship really.
What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?: The best one? It was after 3rd service at church and this guy named Doug I think told me that it's awesome to see me worship the way I do.
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?: What?! People say mean things about me?!
What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?: Crush... No idea. Relationship... 3 days short of 5 months.
What is your greatest strength?: My greatest strength is not my own. But from my Father in heaven.
What is your greatest weakness?: Myself. Period.
What is your perfect pizza?: The one I can eat NOW!
What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?: It's usually... I'm tired... Followed by an excuse not to get up.
What is your first thought before you go to bed?: It's not the same thing everynight. More often than not it's "How am I ever gonna sleep?"
What college do you want to go to?: I really doubt I'm going to college.
Do you get along with your family?: Yeah I sure do. I love my family.
Do you play any instruments?: I sing... And dink around on the piano.
What kind of music do you like?: Alternative mostly. Anything that sounds good and has some meaning.
Would you ever get a tattoo?: Absolutely.
How many piercings do you have?: None.... At least that I'm aware of...
Who makes you laugh?: HAHAHAH! Who? YOU just did. Everyone does!
Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours?: Um, what?
Have you ever seen a dead body?: No. But I have seen near dead bodies.
Do you have a celebrity crush?: Never have.
What is one thing scientists should invent?: An excuse to stop inventing.
Have you ever broken a bone?: I haven't, no.
What happens after you die?: That's up to God, really. But I'm confident Jesus will vouch for me.
Do you watch or read the news?: I read the edge... That count?
What stereotype would you label yourself as being?: I don't like stereotypes.
Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?: They would say "Oh you're homeschooled"
If yo ucould change your name, what would you change it to?: I'm fine with my name. I might change my middle name though.
If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go: I wouldn't.
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?: I would change my pride. Actually, I'd make it disappear...
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: I haven't. Nor do I plan to.
Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?: No. I would find a way to compliment them and be truthful.
What do you want your friends to think about you?: I want them to think alot less about me and more about God and his plan for them.
HAve you ever bitten someone?: I think so.
Have you ever stolen anything?: Yeah, regrettable.
Do you make wishes on shooting stars?: I have. Don't really anymore.
If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?: I think that question was asked earlier in another form. My answer hasn't changed.
Do you remember your dreams?: Bits and pieces.
Have you ever been in love?: I'm constantly in love with my savior Jesus Christ.
Are you a morning person or a night person?: Night by far. Makes sleeping kinda difficult.
Do you have any phobias?: Sort of but no big ones.
Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth?: Yeah on occasion.
How many screen names do you have?: Uh I don't really know what that means. But I have an MSN, AIM and most of all a TWITTER!
Do any medical problems run in your family?: Not that I'm aware of.
Have anyone ever been disowned from your family?: Nope.
Have you ever had a nightmare?: Yeah lots of times.
Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?: I think meaner things about my friends when I think they're enemies. For that I am shameful.
Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?: I have not. Nor would I.
Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Haha no. Which is surprising 'cuz I laugh pretty hard sometimes.
Have you ever written a love letter?: Not a real one. I've written short litter things.
Have you ever attempted suicide?: Nope. I think that's a terrible question to put on here.
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers?
Have you ever been in a fistfight?: With my older brother yeah lol.
Do you have any hidden talents?: I'm extremely good at answering 130 questions without getting ADD.
What is one thing you want me to know about you?: I want you to know I'm a Jesus Freak.
Do you usually prefer books or movies?: Movies.
Who is your favourite person to talk to?: Haha Ali by far!
Would you ever have sex before marriage?: Nope.
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: My parents. No one else has time for me lol.
Do you prefer british or american spelling of words?: Americano por favor.
Have you ever gotten detention?: No.
How do you vent your anger?: I sit. I think and I scream inside myself.
Have you ever been on a diet?: No. I need to though. One of those get fatter diets...
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you?: I've dated both and would do so again.
Is your best friend a virgin?: I believe so.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?: LOL. Not yet...
Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?: Oh cmon... No. Again... Not a question I'd put on here.
Have you ever wanted to murder someone?: Yep.
Have you ever hated someone?: I have. But it passed.
Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?: I'd rather be in person.
Do you consider yourself popular?: I do not. Unless you're talking about my school then oh yeah.
Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?: I've done that before. It's turned out bad. It's turned out good. No "right way" to do it.
Have you ever had a crush on an enemy?: What are you talking about with this "enemy" business? Our fight is not with the flesh...
Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?: Lol yeah.
What is your favourite book?: The bible. Not 'cuz I'm SOO good at reading it (cuz I'm not). But becuase I know where it comes from and I can trust Him through it.
Do you have a collection of anything?: Memories. Some good some bad.
Are you happy with the person you are becoming?: I am... So far. I am still improving and learning though.
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?: Are you joking?
What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?: A little taller. Not sure really.
Are you happy with the life you have?: I am indeed.
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When was the last time you cried?: Last night
Have you ever faked sick?: YES! Haha...
What was the last lie you said?: Oh jeez... I'm not sure.
Have you ever cried during a movie?: ... No... Maybe... IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE! Ok fine... THEY were good movies.
Have you ever danced in the rain?: I've played basketball in the rain. But no, not danced. Not yet.
Have you ever been drunk?: Nope.
Do you smoke?: No.
What is your full name?: Grant Richard Gustafson. Hi to all you internet predators.
What is your blood-type?: I have no clue.
Have you ever been in a car accident?: Nope.
How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?: Flippin 15 man.
Who was your first kiss?: I don't like to talk about that.
Have you ever had an online relationship?: Not a real one. Haha...
Have you ever been rejected by a crush?: Probably. I've rejected too so, I got even!
What is your favourite sport to play?: I don't like sports.
Have you ever made a prank phone call?: Yeah. A few here and there.
Have you ever said "I Love you" and not meant it?: Well yeah, but I *thought* I meant it.
Is there anything that you have done that you regret?: The longest relationship I've ever been in was also the worst.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: A God-fearing husband and father.
What is your political persuassion?: No comment.
Do you believe in g-d?: It's God* and yes, I do.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I believe in 'like' at first site. Turns into love if everything works out.
Do you believe in karma?: Lol. Something like that. I don't think it is a seperate, independent power, though.
Who was your first crush?: I really can't remember.
Who do yo uhave a crush on?: Right now? No one.
How would you describe yourself?: The fact that I laughed at this question might give you a hint...
What are you afraid of?: 131 Random questions in a row *whew*
Are you religious?: I seek God's heart and obey (I try anyway) him. Is that religion?
What does your screen name mean?: Which one? Im.tryin means I'm trying... At alot of things.
What person do you trust the most?: Well, I'm learning to trust the Lord. For now I think I trust my parents. And some great guys named Michael and Erin.
Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?: Her name was Khristamy. Pretty lame first relationship really.
What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?: The best one? It was after 3rd service at church and this guy named Doug I think told me that it's awesome to see me worship the way I do.
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?: What?! People say mean things about me?!
What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?: Crush... No idea. Relationship... 3 days short of 5 months.
What is your greatest strength?: My greatest strength is not my own. But from my Father in heaven.
What is your greatest weakness?: Myself. Period.
What is your perfect pizza?: The one I can eat NOW!
What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?: It's usually... I'm tired... Followed by an excuse not to get up.
What is your first thought before you go to bed?: It's not the same thing everynight. More often than not it's "How am I ever gonna sleep?"
What college do you want to go to?: I really doubt I'm going to college.
Do you get along with your family?: Yeah I sure do. I love my family.
Do you play any instruments?: I sing... And dink around on the piano.
What kind of music do you like?: Alternative mostly. Anything that sounds good and has some meaning.
Would you ever get a tattoo?: Absolutely.
How many piercings do you have?: None.... At least that I'm aware of...
Who makes you laugh?: HAHAHAH! Who? YOU just did. Everyone does!
Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours?: Um, what?
Have you ever seen a dead body?: No. But I have seen near dead bodies.
Do you have a celebrity crush?: Never have.
What is one thing scientists should invent?: An excuse to stop inventing.
Have you ever broken a bone?: I haven't, no.
What happens after you die?: That's up to God, really. But I'm confident Jesus will vouch for me.
Do you watch or read the news?: I read the edge... That count?
What stereotype would you label yourself as being?: I don't like stereotypes.
Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?: They would say "Oh you're homeschooled"
If yo ucould change your name, what would you change it to?: I'm fine with my name. I might change my middle name though.
If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go: I wouldn't.
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?: I would change my pride. Actually, I'd make it disappear...
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: I haven't. Nor do I plan to.
Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?: No. I would find a way to compliment them and be truthful.
What do you want your friends to think about you?: I want them to think alot less about me and more about God and his plan for them.
HAve you ever bitten someone?: I think so.
Have you ever stolen anything?: Yeah, regrettable.
Do you make wishes on shooting stars?: I have. Don't really anymore.
If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?: I think that question was asked earlier in another form. My answer hasn't changed.
Do you remember your dreams?: Bits and pieces.
Have you ever been in love?: I'm constantly in love with my savior Jesus Christ.
Are you a morning person or a night person?: Night by far. Makes sleeping kinda difficult.
Do you have any phobias?: Sort of but no big ones.
Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth?: Yeah on occasion.
How many screen names do you have?: Uh I don't really know what that means. But I have an MSN, AIM and most of all a TWITTER!
Do any medical problems run in your family?: Not that I'm aware of.
Have anyone ever been disowned from your family?: Nope.
Have you ever had a nightmare?: Yeah lots of times.
Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?: I think meaner things about my friends when I think they're enemies. For that I am shameful.
Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?: I have not. Nor would I.
Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Haha no. Which is surprising 'cuz I laugh pretty hard sometimes.
Have you ever written a love letter?: Not a real one. I've written short litter things.
Have you ever attempted suicide?: Nope. I think that's a terrible question to put on here.
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers?
Have you ever been in a fistfight?: With my older brother yeah lol.
Do you have any hidden talents?: I'm extremely good at answering 130 questions without getting ADD.
What is one thing you want me to know about you?: I want you to know I'm a Jesus Freak.
Do you usually prefer books or movies?: Movies.
Who is your favourite person to talk to?: Haha Ali by far!
Would you ever have sex before marriage?: Nope.
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: My parents. No one else has time for me lol.
Do you prefer british or american spelling of words?: Americano por favor.
Have you ever gotten detention?: No.
How do you vent your anger?: I sit. I think and I scream inside myself.
Have you ever been on a diet?: No. I need to though. One of those get fatter diets...
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you?: I've dated both and would do so again.
Is your best friend a virgin?: I believe so.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?: LOL. Not yet...
Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?: Oh cmon... No. Again... Not a question I'd put on here.
Have you ever wanted to murder someone?: Yep.
Have you ever hated someone?: I have. But it passed.
Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?: I'd rather be in person.
Do you consider yourself popular?: I do not. Unless you're talking about my school then oh yeah.
Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?: I've done that before. It's turned out bad. It's turned out good. No "right way" to do it.
Have you ever had a crush on an enemy?: What are you talking about with this "enemy" business? Our fight is not with the flesh...
Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?: Lol yeah.
What is your favourite book?: The bible. Not 'cuz I'm SOO good at reading it (cuz I'm not). But becuase I know where it comes from and I can trust Him through it.
Do you have a collection of anything?: Memories. Some good some bad.
Are you happy with the person you are becoming?: I am... So far. I am still improving and learning though.
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?: Are you joking?
What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?: A little taller. Not sure really.
Are you happy with the life you have?: I am indeed.
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
Oops...
So I wrote that whole "Who am I" blog and realized I completely messed up on it. I deleted it. Sorry to everyone who read it. I'm an idiot I know.
Friday, November 21, 2008
My life according to music
The answers of these questions are from random shuffled songs. Enjoy =)
My best friend is like: Untouchable
To cheer myself up I: Become who you are
My day will be like: Call my name
My parents are like the song: The tower and the trains
My theme song: Something on my mind
My love of life was inspired by the song: Word
My deepest secret is: There's a reason
My innermost desire is: Saved
If I reached the top of Mount Everest, what I would scream: It's over
The story of my life is: We dreamt in heist
The best thing about me is: The rescue
If I got lost on a desert island, I would yell: Watch me go
Right now, I feel: Beautiful thing
My friends see me as: Sadie hawkins dance
Behind my back, my friends think I'm: The end
At my wedding they'll play: Missing
My favorite thing to do is: Who needs air
When I'm drunk I say: Do you enjoy distortion?
When I'm in the shower, I sing: Not coming home
My ultimate song for dancing is: Maintain consciousness
How will you die? Gone fishin'
My birth was like: Everything
What I did did last night was: Lord have mercy on a country boy
Next time I'm in front of a crowd, I'll say: Human after all
This song describes my grandparents: Pride away
My last words will be: Another one rides the bus
Somewhere in my wedding vows, I will include: Letters in white lines
I'll have a good day if I can just hear: Good (I've got a lot to learn)
Highschool was like: Let it fall
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A Certain Elephant - Elephant Comics
Life Playlist Survey
My alter-ego is: Goodnight gravityMy best friend is like: Untouchable
To cheer myself up I: Become who you are
My day will be like: Call my name
My parents are like the song: The tower and the trains
My theme song: Something on my mind
My love of life was inspired by the song: Word
My deepest secret is: There's a reason
My innermost desire is: Saved
If I reached the top of Mount Everest, what I would scream: It's over
The story of my life is: We dreamt in heist
The best thing about me is: The rescue
If I got lost on a desert island, I would yell: Watch me go
Right now, I feel: Beautiful thing
My friends see me as: Sadie hawkins dance
Behind my back, my friends think I'm: The end
At my wedding they'll play: Missing
My favorite thing to do is: Who needs air
When I'm drunk I say: Do you enjoy distortion?
When I'm in the shower, I sing: Not coming home
My ultimate song for dancing is: Maintain consciousness
How will you die? Gone fishin'
My birth was like: Everything
What I did did last night was: Lord have mercy on a country boy
Next time I'm in front of a crowd, I'll say: Human after all
This song describes my grandparents: Pride away
My last words will be: Another one rides the bus
Somewhere in my wedding vows, I will include: Letters in white lines
I'll have a good day if I can just hear: Good (I've got a lot to learn)
Highschool was like: Let it fall
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A Certain Elephant - Elephant Comics
Friday, November 14, 2008
It's gone
So tonight, I went out to look at the moon becuase my friend told me it looked awesome! All excited, I get up off my computer (yeah, I actually did) to go look at this so called 'gorgeous' moon. My blood pumping and my heart pounding to see something described so wonderfully. I arrive outside and I look around. I walk all around my house but still can't find it! Feeling empty, I came back to my computer... To write this blog and dream of the late moon.
Did the moon disappear??
I feel bad for the grandkids of the guys that went to the moon.
"My grandpa was a war-hero!"
"My grandpa walked on the moon!"
"Haha you're such a liar! The 'moon'! Haha! Yeah, and my grandpa was santa claus!"
*Please note*: This blog is not intended to make fun of those who believe in Santa Claus! However, you might want to look in your parents room, on christmas eve and find a few receipts from Toys R Us. (Toys R Us is a registered trademark and is used without permission. (Don't tell, or Santa will give you coals!)
Did the moon disappear??
I feel bad for the grandkids of the guys that went to the moon.
"My grandpa was a war-hero!"
"My grandpa walked on the moon!"
"Haha you're such a liar! The 'moon'! Haha! Yeah, and my grandpa was santa claus!"
*Please note*: This blog is not intended to make fun of those who believe in Santa Claus! However, you might want to look in your parents room, on christmas eve and find a few receipts from Toys R Us. (Toys R Us is a registered trademark and is used without permission. (Don't tell, or Santa will give you coals!)
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Worship
Church was interesting today. Not really in a good way at first. Although I was frustrated with a few people, I kind of zoned out and was next to unresponsive to everyone except Erin, and then in 3rd, pastor Hurt. I didn't feel at all myself.
I felt like I was 1 of maybe... 10 people actually worshipping. Maybe it's wrong of me to even care who else is doing it but I couldn't help it. I miss the energy from the approaching thunder conference! Why can't every sunday, every wednesday be JUST AS EXCITING?? Really, it is. We sing the SAME stuff. Since we know God has not abandoned us... That makes us at fault doesn't it? Maybe we don't mean it as much. I don't really know... But I know I want to see enthusiastic worship everywhere. Not just singing. Like this sunday was also serve-sunday. I really didn't want to do it. I blame myself for not going though. I made excuses like, "I had work at 2 A.M. last night... Plus I'm kinda sore." How foolish am I? Alot, I think.
Now that I've completely lost my train of thought... Lol. I'm in a very good mood at the moment. I know why... But you don't =)
I felt like I was 1 of maybe... 10 people actually worshipping. Maybe it's wrong of me to even care who else is doing it but I couldn't help it. I miss the energy from the approaching thunder conference! Why can't every sunday, every wednesday be JUST AS EXCITING?? Really, it is. We sing the SAME stuff. Since we know God has not abandoned us... That makes us at fault doesn't it? Maybe we don't mean it as much. I don't really know... But I know I want to see enthusiastic worship everywhere. Not just singing. Like this sunday was also serve-sunday. I really didn't want to do it. I blame myself for not going though. I made excuses like, "I had work at 2 A.M. last night... Plus I'm kinda sore." How foolish am I? Alot, I think.
Now that I've completely lost my train of thought... Lol. I'm in a very good mood at the moment. I know why... But you don't =)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Struggles =\
So, today I've really been struggling with what God's plan for me is. I've had alot of weird thoughts about it. I'm still not sure about it though. I was googling random things, one of which, was 'God forums'. I know, sounds like a weird thing to google, right? Well, I found a very atheist-based website-discussion board actually. It's basicly atheist's and their thoughts about religion, the existence of a God, or multiple God's and how none of that is possible. I was saddened at some of the stuff they put in there about Christians, and even God himself ='(
Then I googled some stuff about creation verses evolution. I found some cool stuff I suppose, it really made me want to learn how to argue all those people on the atheist discussion board. I tried to register on their website (the atheist one), but when I tried to register the confirmation image thing wouldn't load. No idea why. So I kinda lost interest there.
All day though, I've been feeling God calling me to something, but I can't figure out what it is! I'm frustrated and excited all at the same time!
Then I googled some stuff about creation verses evolution. I found some cool stuff I suppose, it really made me want to learn how to argue all those people on the atheist discussion board. I tried to register on their website (the atheist one), but when I tried to register the confirmation image thing wouldn't load. No idea why. So I kinda lost interest there.
All day though, I've been feeling God calling me to something, but I can't figure out what it is! I'm frustrated and excited all at the same time!
First post!
If you don't know me, you probably won't be reading this, but just incase... I'm Grant! I'm not really sure why I created this thing... But I was inspired by something. So here I am! For now, this is just a place to write my thoughts down (the one's I don't really mind other people knowing about =)). I think that pretty much defines a blog anyway but whatever!
I'd like to also state that if I make grammatical (or spelling) errors-unless it makes the sentence hard to understand-I don't care that much. Although I am trying =)
I've never used one of these things before so... Here it goes!
I'd like to also state that if I make grammatical (or spelling) errors-unless it makes the sentence hard to understand-I don't care that much. Although I am trying =)
I've never used one of these things before so... Here it goes!
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